Yuki's instructions, Shuichi's malfunction
by SexyRyu28
Summary: Yuki sends Shuichi to the store for a simple errand with a simple set of instructions, but can things be that simple with Shuichi?


**Disclaimer: **The only thing I own is my imagination, my insomnia, and my yummy cup of coffee.

**A/N: **This was inspired by a joke, stress, and lack of sleep. Hope you enjoy it. A big thanks to Inu-midoriko for making my stories look pretty. Huggles.

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**Yuki's instructions, Shuichi's malfunction.**

Yuki sat waiting impatiently for Shuichi, smoking his last cigarette, "How long does it takes to buy a damn pack of cigarettes?" he said to himself trying to make his cigarette last. He took a look at his watch "an hour, the store is only a ten minutes walking distance."

Yuki paced the apartment when he heard the phone; the persistent ringing sent a shot of anxiety through his body. He answered the phone with a shaky, "Hello,"

"Yuki, is me Shuichi…" his voice trembled.

After releasing the breath that he unconsciously held he said, "Where the hell are you?"

"Uhm, at the store." Shuichi responded, his voice getting lower after each word.

"Why are you still there?" he asked feeling a pressure on his head, announcing an upcoming migraine.

"Can you come pick me up," the singer said in almost a whisper, "and bring your wallet."

"What-?" the singer hung up before Yuki could say anything.

Yuki knew that something was wrong, he could hear it in Shuichi's voice. It had an 'I'm-in-trouble' tone much like a child that had stolen a chocolate bar and had been caught.

So he picked up his keys and his wallet and headed to the store. During his walk he noticed a man putting up a signs among other things, apparently there was going to be some road work done tomorrow, _"Great, just what I need more noise."_ he thought.

Five minutes into his walk he saw a brand new sign that said 'wrong way', "Any idiot should know by now that's a dead end." he rolled his eyes and continued down his path. As he turned the corner a woman holding a cup approached him, he ignored her completely and continued walking.

He reached the store and as soon as he opened the door he felt Shuichi's whole weight fall on him almost making him visit the unwelcoming floor.

"Oh Yuki, I'm so glad you came, please don't be angry." the singer said on the verge of tears.

"Get off me brat!" he said pushing his lover away from him, "Why the hell did you call me? Can't you even go to the store by yourself?!"

"Sir," Yuki was approached by the store owner, a short, balding man probably in his fifties, "do you know this boy?"

"Unfortunately," he snorted.

The bitter storeowner answered sarcasm with sarcasm, "In that case you better pay me or I'll call the police."

"Shuichi…" he growled.

"I'm sorry I don't have the money," he confessed.

"You…one day…I swear…brat…" he mumbled while searching his wallet.

Yuki paid for two packs of cigarettes, a case of beer, a bottle of aspirin, a juice bottle and a candle.

"Uhm, Yuki," Shuichi spoke hesitantly, his curiosity greater than his fear, "what's the candle for?"

As he picked his change and receipt the novelist answered, "Your funeral." and he stormed out of the store, he stomped all the way back home, Shuichi walking quietly behind him.

The two men entered the apartment, none speaking. Shuichi found the nearest corner to hide and Yuki placed the bag on the counter. He took out the cigarettes, first placing them in his shirt pocket; he put the beer in the refrigerator and the aspirin on the kitchen table. He tried to ignore Shuichi, who was bawling in the corner, but soon felt the need to ask. "Did someone rob you?"

"No," he sobbed.

"Did you lose the money?"

"Nope."

Yuki took his glasses off and rubbed the bridge of his nose, "Then what? How come you manage to get in trouble over the simplest thing?"

"Don't blame me, it's all your fault!" Shuichi said with a pout.

"My fault! Now your stupidity is my fault?!"

"It's because I followed instructions," he said while sinking lower on the floor.

Yuki looked at the boy, dumbfounded by his answer, "do you realize you're not making any sense?" he said popping two aspirins in his mouth as if they were tic-tacs.

"Well it's true." he pouted and sank even lower on the floor - if that was possible at all.

"I know I'm going to regret this, but can you explain."

Shuichi leapt to his feet and filled his lungs with air and started talking, "It all started when you told me to listen to you and follow every instruction, so I did. I got out and headed straight down like you told me, then I notice a worker putting up one of those signs with the flashing lights that said 'slow down'," he said making the flashing motion with his hands, "so I followed instructions and walked as slowly as I could. Then I saw another sign further down the street that said 'wrong way', so I thought really hard about what it meant and then I figured it out, under the sign was an arrow pointing that way," he pointed to his right and gasped for air at the same time, "so I figured that it must mean you have to walk facing that direction. I turned and walked sideways until I reached the corner where I was approached by a woman wearing a shirt that said 'feed the hungry' and holding a cup, so I went inside the restaurant an bought her something to eat, because I thought that was what the shirt meant. I finally got to the store and stood waiting in line, then I notice a fridge, the door said open so I opened it, inside the refrigerator were different drinks so I picked one I've never seen before, it was an energy drink, coco-mango kiwi-peach flavor, on the cap said twist cap to open, which I did, then I asked the store owner for your cigarettes but there was a problem, I had spent all the money on the food that I bought the homeless woman. The man refused to let me go saying that because I had opened the juice I had to pay for it or he'll call the police. After I begged he said he'd wait until you came to pick me up. So now you see, I followed every single instruction and it landed me in this mess, and on top of that, you're angry." All that was said in two breaths and less than thirty seconds.

Yuki sat silent, wide-eyed, his cigarette dangling from his lip. His brain tried to assimilate Shuichi's logic on instructions, aggravating his migraine even more.

"Yuki?"

". . ."

"Say something."

". . ."

Shuichi blinked his purple orbs with worry, "Uhm, Yuki."

Yuki just stared at the pink-haired boy before finally breaking the silence, "Shuichi…why…how…never mind" he figured he would never understand the 'why's' and the 'how's' when it came to Shuichi. Besides, trying would only make his brain tapioca, so why try? Yuki stood up walked to the refrigerator and grabbed a beer, making a mental note to himself, _'Never send Shuichi on errands, EVER!'_

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Thanks for reading, please review and let me know what you think. L8R


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